Missy’s Canvas

I started selling items on zazzle.  It allows me to use my artistic skills and hopefully pay some bills.  Not much new is going on in my life, but then life does not simply happen you have to take an active part in it.  My cousin’s funeral is Monday and I will not be attending.  I do not do well with death and loss.  I guess there’s not much more to say.

 http:www.zazzle.com/missmissylue

I learned yesterday that my cousin died.  He was only 32 and with death, it always leaves us questioning our own mortality.  I wonder if he was happy with his life’s accomplishments.  I certainly am not at a place where I am content with what I have achieved.  I have too many tasks that have not gone through to completion.  My artwork is suffering lately.  It is my passion and I love to share in discussions with others about their art or how they feel about art.

My mind is all over the place today, but it keeps going back to my cousin.  I am not sure who his friends are because we were not close.  This unfortunately is a common thread in my family.  There is a disconnect in my family.  We try to become close, but too many secrets, lies and other elements stand in the way.

It would be nice to share this with someone, but do not have an ear or eye that I know personally to divulge this information too.  Therefore, I put it here in my blog as a way of releasing emotions.  It works a bit, but like many things in my life, it is simply a temporary fix.

The world of blogging is new for me.  It is interesting to think that someone may read this entry and actually enjoy it or benefit from it.  I am a self-taught artist who is legally blind.  Today has been one of internal battles.  I am trying to push myself to submit yet another entry, but not up for the constant barrage of rejections that flood my e-mail weeks later. 

I do not know if anyone takes my art seriously and maybe it is a ridiculous notion to be a visually impaired artist.  Still I cannot give up the one thing that I have loved since childhood. 

I started a drawing today, but felt compelled to crumple it before its completion.  I have been doing that quite often now.